Baby Girl

On Wednesday I had my Level 2 ultrasound and I found out that we are having a baby girl!  I think Jered and I are both still in complete shock, as we both thought it was a boy.  The ultrasound experience itself was not a good one for me and I am struggling with how I want to share it.

First the ultrasound tech came in and did basic measurements and she was the one to first tell me it was a girl.  I immediately started crying when I got the news.  I also shed some tears when she said that the baby had all of its long bones.  I just had a moment when I thought about how most people do have two fibulas and just wondered why my sweet boy did not.

So I was feeling pretty good after the first round and then had to wait an hour for the specialist to come in and do his measurements.  This was the same specialist we saw when we had Eli’s Level 2 ultrasound.  He is good, but has no people/communication skills.  So he is doing the ultrasound, looking all over, confirms it is a girl, and then spends a lot of time looking at the heart.  I think I had a stroke on the table, because I knew he was spending too much time there.

I don’t want to share the specifics, because everything is fine.  But basically he saw something that could be a weak sign of something very bad.  He wanted to get the results of some blood work I had done, so I had to wait in the genetic counselor’s office, the same office where we got Eli’s FH diagnosis.  At this point I wasn’t crying, just totally shocked.  I couldn't believe this was happening.

He came back and in his non-communicative way said that my blood work looked good and that the risk of something very bad being wrong was low.  He said that everything else looked fine and completely normal.  That was it.

I cried all day Wednesday.  I feel like I was robbed of the experience of jumping for joy at the news that I was having a girl.

Thursday morning I saw my beloved OB and he told me, “Kristina, if you were my daughter I would tell you not to worry.  You have to get this out of your head.”

Overall I am feeling much better.  From the beginning of this pregnancy I had peace that this baby was fine, and I still feel like that.  It is unfortunate that I had the Level 2 and was told about this “small possibility of something bad” being wrong with the baby.  If I could go back in time I would have NEVER had that ultrasound.  But I did.

Last night I was thinking, is God testing me?  I’ve had peace about this baby being fine, and then did God have the small thing show up on the ultrasound to test my faith or something?  I don’t know.  If that is the case, I am still faithful.  I still believe that this baby is fine, and every night I will just pray that she is born perfectly healthy and normal.  I would be so honored if you would you do the same.