First Day of Preschool

My sweet boy started preschool last Thursday.  I bought him three different books about going to preschool and we have been reading them for about a month.  We got to meet his teacher the week before school started and he had orientation last Wednesday.  He got it and he seemed excited to go to school.

When I dropped him off he seemed a little confused but okay.  I was a nervous wreck and trying to play it cool for Eli.  I left pretty quickly and then felt terrible that I didn’t hang around longer or hug him goodbye.  I waved bye to him after he hung up his coat with the teacher’s aide. 

I was so nervous that morning that I put my shirt on backwards!  I didn’t realize it until I got home and looked at this picture we took before school.  I didn’t cry when I got home from dropping him off, but I was so nervous the entire morning that I was literally shaking. 

Grace and I were a little early to pick E up, so I was able to chat with another Mom outside the classroom for a bit.  She said her son started crying after she left (she left after I did), and that Eli started to cry when her son cried.  My heart sank.  When the teacher opened the classroom door the children walked out in a line and Eli was at the back of the line with the teacher’s aide hysterical.  My heart broke into a million pieces.  They said that he had a really hard day and basically cried on and off all day.  She said that each time they transitioned to a new activity he cried.

When I thought about how Eli would handle this new experience, I figured that he wouldn’t cry at the beginning, but rather, later on once he figured out what it was all about.  See they have a Dora dollhouse that he loves and I think he thought he was going to get to go play with the dollhouse for maybe 30 minutes and then go home.  Sweet boy.

So Friday he started crying at home before we left for school in the morning and then when I pulled up to the school.  He was hysterical when I dropped him off in the classroom.  I was waiting outside by the bus (majority of the other kids take a bus) at the end of the day and once again the class walked out in a line, and Eli was at the end of the line hysterical.  His teacher said that he did have a better day and that he ate popcorn, helped poor water and got to watch a movie.  She said that when they told him to get ready b/c I was coming to pick him up he became hysterical.

After the first day of school he was extremely clingy and basically wanted me to hold him all day after he got home.  He did better on Friday, but Saturday night he started sobbing at bedtime and I ended up bringing into my bed and cuddling with him for a little bit.  I finally got him to go back to his room and left his lamp on for him.  He has never done anything like this – ever. 

What is so hard is that Eli can’t tell me why he is sad, how his day was at school – nothing.  I know this is a huge adjustment for him and I am just trying to be positive and patient.  But…this is killing me.  It is devastating to leave him hysterical and pick him up hysterical (let alone having him cry at bedtime).  I want to grab him and say to hell with all of this and just bring him home, but (at least for the time being) I think this is the best thing for him.  It will take time, and I just hope and pray that he adjusts sooner rather than later.  I am praying that this week goes better.