She called

Eli’s teacher called me yesterday.  She told me lots of good things about how he is doing in the preschool program, and she also discussed some concerns with me.  She said that Eli exhibits some “red flags” for Spectrum, as in Autism Spectrum Disorder. 

She said that he is very distracted in the classroom and does not interact with the other children.  For example, when they are in the gym he likes to read the numbers on the bleachers instead of playing with the children.  She said he does sometimes hug the other children, but he does not seem to realize that the other children don’t like these hugs.  She thinks his hugging them is more of a sensory seeking activity, then a friendly greeting.  That one really broke my heart.

Nothing she told me came as a surprise.  I told her that she wasn’t telling me anything that I didn’t already know.  This has been a slow & painful process of acceptance. 

I just read this book, am starting to read this book, and have this book on my shelf.  Just yesterday, I made an appointment for Eli here during Easter break when we’ll be in Ann Arbor.

I now know what it means to sob.  To be overcome with such sadness that your mouth opens and a raw ache escapes from the depths of your soul.  My heart has broke completely.

But yet I am filled with hope.  I feel God’s presence strongly all around us.  I believe that my child is sick and I will not stop until he is healthy again. This is treatable, and Eli will recover.