One Month Old

Dear Eli,

Today you are one month old! I still can't believe that I have a baby, let alone a one month old! This month has gone by so quickly and although I am glad that you are growing, I am already feeling like it is happening too quickly. So much has happened this month to both of us! You were born, I became a mother, and together we got through the first month.

The biggest challenge I would say has been the issues with my milk supply. I am still heartbroken about this, but hopeful that things will improve. Together we are doing everything we can to make the best of the situation and the most important things are that you are still getting breast milk and we are able to share a closeness that I wouldn't exchange for anything in this world.

So where do I begin? Well, you certainly look like you Daddy. That's pretty much the first thing that everyone says when they see you or your picture. The second thing people comment on is your cool hair! You have a lot of hair and it is spiky in the middle kind of like a mo hawk! Your eyes are a deep blue and I find myself getting lost in them.

During the day you eat about every two hours, so that takes up the majority of our time right now. You don't like to sleep that much during the day, but you do sleep for about a four hour stretch at night, wake up to eat, and then sleep for two more hours. I think you are doing great and I am just glad that you don't have your days and nights confused.

One of my favorite things is when you fall asleep on my chest. You like to kind of crawl up and rest your head on my neck. I love having you so close to me.

You love to vibrate in your bouncy seat and you love your swing. During the day, when you are not in my arms, you spend your time in your bouncy seat. When you were about 2 weeks old we figured out that you like to sleep in your swing at night, so that's where you've been for a few weeks. Eventually we'll try to get you to sleep in the awesome cradle that your grandpa built, but for now we don't want to mess with our system.

You don't really like getting your diaper changed and you definitely don't like your car seat! We tried to take you on a walk in the stroller yesterday and that didn't work out too well. I am sure you'll like it when you are a little bit older.

There are things you like about getting baths and things you aren't too happy with. You love getting the warm water poured over you, but hate getting washed with the washcloth. The thing you absolutely adore is when I wash your hair. One of your favorite things is getting your head rubbed!

Pretty recently you have started to smile! At first we thought it was just gas, but then I read that babies really do start to smile during the first month. You definitely have smiled more for Daddy, but I get a few here and there. Hopefully I'll be able to catch it on video pretty soon here!

I worried a lot about your leg before you were born, and still worry about it. But now that you are here and I see how amazing you are I have really found peace with it; it just doesn't seem as important anymore. I know we will have challenges ahead, but I know that you are going to be just fine. This is who you are, this is how God made you and I know that this is just an obstacle that we have to overcome. Surely a prosthetic leg is not going to get in your way! Thank you for reassuring me of this.

Now that you are here I truly feel complete. I have dreamed of loving you my whole life; thank you for making all my dreams come true.

Love,
Mom