So much to say

I’ll never forget the first time I held my sweet baby boy.  After a harrowing emergency c-section, I had to wait 5 agonizing hours to hold my baby.  I remember I felt terrible physically, but as soon as Jered came to get me to take me to the NICU I somehow found the strength to jump out of bed. 

When we got to the NICU Eli was crying and I immediately wanted to hold him.  As soon as the nurse put him in my arms he just stopped crying.  I remember that I didn’t even know for sure how to hold him, but it was perfect.  We were finally together again, and I had him in my arms.

My sweet boy is now 3 1/2 years old and since that very first moment that I held him in my arms he has been the love of my life.  He is so very intelligent, beautiful, and sweet. 

On February 20th he was diagnosed with Autism.  I haven’t been able to write about it until now.  I write today for him, because I want to continue to tell his story.  To document the challenges he has had to deal with and all that he will overcome. 

To be honest, I don’t want to write about it…I don’t want to blog anymore, but God is really pushing me to share E’s story, so I’ll do my best.

So much has happened in the past few months, that I’ll never be able to catch up on the blog.  I’m not going to be able to document everything, I’ll just write and share when it feels write. 

Some things that I am sure to share more about are the Specific Carbohydrate Diet that we started following on March 3rd, and the Biomedical Treatments that we started on May 4th.

I need to say here that Eli received the “Autism” diagnosis due to speech/communication delays, issues with eye contact, and social interaction.  He is still the same sweet, intelligent, non-aggressive & obedient little angel that he always has been.  My belief is that my boy is physically unwell, and that is why he is exhibiting these characteristics. 

How am I doing?  I am doing okay…or I guess this is how I feel.  Sometimes I feel sad, angry, scared and utterly heartbroken.  Many times I feel overwhelmed.  But at the end of the day I don’t have time for much of that.  I have to heal my son. 

I love this boy fiercely.  My love for him is so primal and raw that there are no words for it.  In the same ways that I hushed his first cries, I now have to do all in my power to help him recover from autism.